Our Broken Success Paradigm (And Getting What YOU Really Want)

“There’s more to life than I’m living and I’m sure there’s a way to get it.”

Every married, moderately successful entrepreneur has thought this… often.  And he should think it. Often.

If that’s you, good job. But if I may, I’d like to pull you toward a deeper question that relates…

What if there is a dimension to life and business success that, if overlooked, would sabotage your potential… and you not even know it?

What if you missed out on getting what DEEP DOWN your heart REALLY WANTS because of ONE KEY SHIFT you’re not aware of?

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios to dial this in…

The entrepreneur slaves at the office, late again.  As he sits there in front of his computer, he doesn’t want to go home because he knows his wife is likely lying in bed, awake… smoldering.

Ironically, his client just replied to his email. “Wow, you’re the best vendor we’ve got! You’re always on call!”

In another city, a gunman brandishes his weapon in front of the whimpering family strapped to their chairs.  This isn’t the first time he’s done this swaggering-style robbery. And if he gets caught, that will only start a new round of ego-boost he will welcome.  To the degree he has the attention, ANY kind of attention, he’ll feel “real.”

Here’s what these two stories have in common:  these men are driven to a place of perverted gain and tragic loss for the exact same reasons:  they both want to feel significant, and neither believe they can “have it all.” 

Because of this internal belief, they’ve become a bent, twisted representation of man – one so myopic and deluded that they are willing to sacrifice what should be the most important aspects of their life to attain a counterfeit version of being significant.

Our soul craves to be SIGNIFICANT.

And God has wired it into us to BE exactly that.  And to HAVE IT.

You Want This.  Here’s Proof.

The opposite of love is NOT hate.

There’s something worse than hate that would deliver into your soul the very OPPOSITE feeling you get when you feel deeply loved, assuming you cared about the person delivering this opposite.

It’s indifference.

Think about it.

When someone is screaming in your face in anger, at least it says – in a weird way – you matter.  You’re significant enough to them to warrant that response. Impact has been made.

Indifference says you DON’T matter. When someone is indifferent toward you they are communicating that you don’t have enough value to evoke a response or reaction in them at all.

That’s why indifference hurts so badly… especially when it’s from someone that YOU are NOT indifference towards.

Significance Is Worth More Than Money, Sex, Or Fame… But Often Brings Those, Too.

Here’s a fact: it is generally true that the self-made millionaire (or billionaire) is more concerned the impact he is making that the money. And if he had to choose, he’d gladly give up the money to make a significant impact… and he knows he’d eventually have the money again anyway.

He understands that’s how life works.

Money, sex or fame (and don’t confuse fame with significance… i.e. Kardashian) are empty and void without significance.

You never have to sacrifice an abundance mindset to live a significant life.

And living with significance, when done correctly, leads to more low stress abundance more often than not.  Trusting that the principle of significance is at the heart of life will set one’s life on a trajectory of truly “having it all.”

Having It All

What happens when a husband functions as if he has a significant role in the life of his wife?

What happens when a dad functions as if he has a significant role in the lives of his kids?

What happens when an entrepreneur functions as if he has a significant role giving his gift to the world?

What happens when a man truly believes he himself is “Created Significance,” that he has a big part to play in the world? That he is CALLED to leave an IMPACT while he’s here and a LEGACY after he’s gone?

How does that thought impact how get GETS, SAVES and INVESTS his MONEY? How he manages his HEALTH? How he manages his TIME?

But consider THIS… how does he FEEL when he feels SIGNIFICANT, when he’s making a DIFFERENCE… when he IS the difference.

To his wife.

To his kids.

In his business.

In his bank account.

Through his service.

Through his voice.

By his strengths.

By his gifts.

By his unique ability applied to his world.

What does he feel like?

Is there ANY feeling BETTER than THAT?

The Experience Of It

Even more than a feeling, what does this man EXPERIENCE?

Open doors.

New business.

Rich relationships.

True intimacy.

Love unending.

Respect unyielding.

Why? Because he’s proactively, consciously applying his FULL IDENTITY to the world around him and it’s HONORING THE WORK.

That’s how the Law of the Harvest works.  It can’t be broken.

This man has learned that, by living according to the Rule Of Significance, you can have EVERYTHING IN LIFE WORTH HAVING.

And you can achieve it while it’s much-craved cousin, LOW STRESS ABUNDANCE.

What To Do Now

Attack your weakest link in the chain with such FORCE that it can never be the same.

Then move up the chain.

Stop acting as if the parts of your life are ARBITRARY, meaningless or otherwise of RANDOM importance.

Start acting like you were CREATED with DESIGN and INTENTIONALITY to leave a MARK that MATTERS in this world both while you are HERE and AFTER YOU’VE GONE.

Do that, and ten thousand legions of hell’s best DEMONS led by your chief HATERS couldn’t stop you from feeling COMPLETELY FULFILLED AND SUCCESSFUL.

You’d finally NOT HAVE TIME for guilt over your PAST.

You’d finally NOT HAVE TIME for chasing DEAD END relationships.

You’d finally NOT HAVE TIME for guilt over your PAST.

You’d finally NOT HAVE time to WASTE on the stuff you HATE or the stuff you SHOULD HATE.

You’ll finally STOP manufacturing CHEAP LITTLE SHORTCUTS that give you short term ILLUSIONS of significance, leaving you RESENTING YOURSELF for being a POSER instead of the REAL DEAL.

You’d finally STOP WAITING for the fantasy to come true: that one day there will just be enough, that things will finally click into place, that people will finally be fixed… and you’ll find your “MUST” and get BUSY doing what you’re HERE TO DO.

You’d start being PRESENT when your wife is speaking to you.

You’d start HANDING DOWN THE GOOD STUFF to your kids that you’ve been EXCUSING YOURSELF out of.

You’d start being CREATIVE AGAIN, solving your business challenges, hitting targets and making REAL MONEY.

You’d start prioritizing your HEALTH as if your EARTH SUIT has an IMPORTANT JOB of carrying your SOUL.

After all… that’s what you REALLY WANT.

How do I know?

Because EVERYBODY with a soul wants that deep down.

Now You’re Ready For What’s Next

1 – Sit down and WRITE OUT a description of what success would look like in each major area of your life WITH THIS DEFINITION IN MIND.

Redefine it. Refine it. Reshape it in your mind.

Bring this paradigm to the table for all of life and enjoy the it’s fruits!

2 – Prepare to USE it.  Then use it.

Next conflict with your spouse, ask: What would be the most significant response to her right now?

When planning your next vacation, ask: What and where, within our budget, would be the most significant getaway for my family in a positive way?

For your business, ask: what is the most significant impact we make for our clients/customers and what’s the most significant marketing move we can implement right now?

Do this and watch what happens to people and things you care about most.

Agree and want more?  Get my “big picture” video and the one page cheat sheet right here.

Created Significance Now

Scott N. Smith
Scott N. Smith
Scott N. Smith is a master coach and mentor. Speaking, training, coaching and leading leaders to help them grow personally, financially and organizationally.
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